00:06
Hi, this is Katie, and thank you for joining me on the Creating Your Sanctuary podcast.

00:13
And this is a podcast about creating those little moments and space that support you.

00:19
And today I wanted to ask you some questions.

00:24
As this episode is called, is this where I'm supposed to be? Because I think we can take stock and evaluate our lives.

00:34
No matter where we are.

00:37
It's kind of good to sit down and reflect and see if it's the space that you're in, if it's the, um, living space you're in, the city that you're in, the country that you're in, the, um, friend groups that you're in, the job that you're in.

00:55
It could be any kind of circumstances like that.

00:58
And I think you could apply some of these questions to all of those to just see if maybe there's some shifts in your life that you can take to improve where you would like to be in the future.

01:13
So the 1st question is, do I feel safe here?

01:17
And this is one of the most important ones for me.

01:21
It's what drove us to move overseas to the Netherlands?

01:25
And it's something that we could not find in the US. And, and I think most people know what those reasons are, I don't have to spell them out.

01:37
But, um, I do think it's important to ask that, like, what is the line that you're willing to draw with, if the place feels safe or not.

01:49
Can you continue living there or not?

01:51
Um, can I be myself here?

01:54
Or there.

01:56
Like, can you be yourself around your friends?

02:00
Can you be yourself in the career or the workspace that you're in?

02:04
Can you be yourself in the school that you're in?

02:09
Because it's really important to find safe spaces for you to be yourself.

02:15
Another one is, does this place drain or restore me?

02:19
And for me, especially I take stock of my energy levels, and when something drains me, I really have to stop and recuperate over a period of time.

02:30
And so I have to be pretty conservative with where I'm spending my energy.

02:35
But if I'm around friends, who I can be myself, and I can share theirs, and it's really lovely to be around them, then I very much welcome that, it's because those kinds of conversations do restore me.

02:52
They do fill me up.

02:54
And even though I'm an introvert and do need to take some time to just kind of rest.

03:00
Those are the types of friends and workplace and communities I want to be a part of.

03:10
Another one is, am I fighting it or am I actually settling in?

03:15
And this has been a big one for us here.

03:17
I was surprised that we felt much more at home more quickly than what I thought we would.

03:26
Um, There was just something about how a lot of things operate here that created a lot of trust.

03:32
And we actually needed to trust people more.

03:36
We found it very hard to trust people to start with because you just learn as a person in the US to really not trust anybody around you when even they're trying to help.

03:49
Coming here and just relying on people was new for us.

03:54
And I found that really interesting.

03:56
We kind of had to fight ourselves to learn how to trust again.

03:59
And I found that settling in with my old belongings and my new belongings actually just worked really much more easily than I thought they would.

04:11
It was kind of amazing how everything synced up.

04:14
We did have to take some time to get the right couch, you know, because we were very picky about that.

04:20
We had to send one back.

04:21
But, Overall, though, it all kind of came together and I know I am very proud of how, uh, we have settled in to make it feel like our own.

04:35
Another question is, do you notice the beauty around you when you are in the space that you are?

04:43
Is there beauty to behold around you?

04:46
Are you in a space where you can take more time to soak in your surroundings, whether it's on a lunch break and you're just watching the birds on a fence or whether you're walking to the bus or whether you're taking a trip into the city or something, is there visual stimuli around you that inspire you and make your life interesting?

05:13
And it doesn't have to be like public art necessarily or anything that's historic, it can be just beautiful little moments and things that you're noticing around you.

05:27
Someone could have left like a little Lego figure on the corner of a offense post that's at the park and it just makes you smile.

05:36
So just noticing those beautiful moments.

05:39
And creating those beautiful moments with friends.

05:42
Another really good question that I think we noticed here early on was, can I imagine growing here?

05:50
Can I actually start planting seeds and seeing myself grow into the new version of me that I really want to see?

06:02
And that was definitely a motivating factor.

06:05
And it really helped to feel that once we had spent a few months here.

06:12
And even now into the new year, I'm seeing my little seeds starting to sprout. And that's really exciting.

06:22
And for some reason, my husband and I could see that happening a year ago, that we came back from our scouting trip and we're like, wow, we really could grow there and our child could grow here.

06:38
Here, there.

06:40
It's in the past, it was there, and now it's here, and it's really hard for me to wrap my brand around still.

06:46
Another question is, does my body feel at ease here?

06:50
And definitely.

06:51
This is like part of the safety question, but I know that personally, I probably would have had to go on some medications to treat my anxiety because it was, I was so nervous even before we left.

07:08
Being an interracial family, we knew that it wouldn't be safe, even being in the Pacific Northwest.

07:16
We were starting to see signs around us that just daily life was not going to be safe.

07:22
And so when I wake up here, every morning and often I have my phone turned to the side where it just has like the name of the town that we're living in, um, so I can see that when I wake up.

07:40
It's just showing like the weather of the day.

07:43
But when I see that town name, that city name, I had just met with so much relief.

07:49
I'm also getting the medications that I need.

07:52
I'm also getting the support that I need.

07:54
I'm also making new friends here and making connections here business wise that make me feel more at ease, and especially again, and especially planting the seeds that I'm seeing sprouts coming up on right now.

08:08
Another question is, am I protecting myself or opening up and definitely in the US.

08:15
I always felt guarded.

08:17
I always felt like I had to hide a little bit or just be on edge again.

08:23
This goes back to like trusting other people.

08:25
But also here, I feel like I can open up more business wise with other colleagues and friends who are trying to build up their businesses as well.

08:36
And it's a bit less, you know, everyone's out for themselves and more how can we collaborate together.

08:44
And the last couple questions here, do I want to explore where I'm at or do I want to escape?

08:52
And this is a really good one because I know personally, I just wanted to escape the US.

08:58
I had that, like, flashing in the front of my mind every day waking up there.

09:03
And here, we are getting the opportunities to explore, it is so amazing to go out every day and kind of not know what you're going to come across.

09:15
And feeling like an explorer, like tomorrow I get to head out to a place I've never been before.

09:21
And I know, though, that I have the skills to navigate to it, even though I don't have a car.

09:28
Um, but I don't know what the adventure will bring, but I know it's going to be really awesome that I can, like, kind of record how it goes and see new places and meet somebody new.

09:42
And the last one is, does this feel temporary or does this feel like mine?

09:48
And I think we can feel that a lot with jobs.

09:54
Our generation, like generation X, millennial, even Gen Y, we rarely had jobs on our resumes that last 10 years, and I know I have owned my own business for a long time, but I have shifted within that time to highlight different things that I can focus on.

10:17
So I think feeling temporary is kind of what our generations are used to.

10:23
And so I think we will feel temporary here for a while still, because this is so new.

10:31
We are still building and creating where we're at.

10:34
But at some point,

10:37
Um, I feel like that's going to tip a bit more and it's going to feel more like this is our place and this is where our, we want to be and this is going to be where we can stay.

10:49
And that's the most important thing, is we want to stay and we want to be here for a long time, and it's going to take time to get there.

10:58
So is this where we're supposed to be long term?

11:02
That's what we hope? And so I can only answer that in the future.

11:07
But the rest of these questions are answered very positive for us.

11:12
And so we know like, this is the place, but we're supposed to be.

11:16
But I also know the feeling for most of these questions of being in a place where we didn't want to be, because we didn't see growth happening, because we didn't feel safe.

11:26
because we didn't have the opportunities, because our bodies did not feel at ease.

11:33
So these are definitely some things to think about of how that might apply in your life, again, as like friendships or schooling or careers, or just whatever stage you're at in life.

11:48
It's something to really consider.

11:50
So these questions will be in the description if you want to take a look at them again.

11:55
And, um, know that you have time and you can research after maybe answering some of these questions about, well, if I don't want to be here, where would I want to be?

12:06
So just remember, however you're creating your sanctuary right now.

12:11
It's enough.

12:13
I'll see you next time.