00:07
Hi, this is Katie, and thank you for joining me on the Creating Your Sanctuary podcast, and this is a podcast about creating those little moments and space that support you.

00:19
And today I wanted to talk about when issues arise because that is very much on the forefront of my mind right now and something I experienced today.

00:31
So I thought I would make this short and sweet, hopefully, and.

00:39
Today, I got an email from someone and I'm not going to go too much into specifics here, but it was like a big deal, right?

00:48
It was like something that would affect our lives greatly.

00:51
If what they were saying was true.

00:56
And so, when I 1st read this simple email, and I had to do with our housing, like it's it's something that, you know, it's kind of critical to where we're at right now here living in the Netherlands and our visa actually, um, depends on having an address.

01:17
So, In the long run, we would have figured it out somehow.

01:23
But when I 1st read this, I was like, wait, what now?

01:28
And... I think they 1st phrased it in the way of like, okay, these are your choices.

01:35
And I responded back.

01:38
I said, no, that's not my choices.

01:42
This is what actually is happening.

01:44
Um,

01:46
And so, And all of a sudden, I started having all these, like we were dealing with some other heart issues.

01:56
Um, and so to have this on top was, you know, a little much.

02:01
But the very 1st thing I think is, what did I do wrong?

02:06
What did I misinterpret?

02:07
What did I think was the correct thing?

02:10
Because very often, my ADHD brain doesn't hold the correct information or doesn't hold the information much at all.

02:21
So, I mean, luckily, our housing is written in paper, right?

02:27
Like I could go and reference it.

02:29
And that's what I did.

02:30
But that very immediate 1st thing, especially being in a foreign country and you don't know how some things work, was like, what did I do wrong?

02:41
What did I do wrong?

02:42
And I'm sure, I'm sure, you know, therapy I could get some more in this area.

02:50
Um, to automatically assume that I did something wrong.

02:55
I understand that.

02:56
I do.

02:56
And I've worked a lot on that.

02:58
I've had a lot of therapy.

02:59
I love therapy.

03:01
I think it's great.

03:03
But I find it interesting that my brain goes there first, right?

03:07
And so To feel that in my body, I feel, you know, my hearts start to race.

03:13
My face get really hot and then even get a little kind of jittery feeling, right?

03:20
Like, it's, it's kind of the stress um, is increasing in my body.

03:26
And, you know, as a person in their 40s, it's not my 1st rodeo with some of these things, you know, I, I've been through a lot.

03:36
And I was like, wait a minute.

03:39
I don't think that's correct.

03:43
Um, And so I went to the source, and I copied the parts that they were saying that we had 2 choices about, and I said, no, this is how it is.

03:57
I'm sorry, but... No, basically what I said was I pasted it in.

04:03
I said, did I misinterpret because this is what this says.

04:08
Um, and then I CC'd the person that was on our side of the whole situation.

04:15
And uh, It's hard to kind of stop and think when these kind of big issues pop up in your life, sometimes you have no control over things. And you just have to kind of go with the flow and deal with them.

04:30
And fortunately, our partner who had helped us out with everything was like, I don't think that's right.

04:41
Um, and we had a small track record of this particular, I'm trying to phrase it as neutral as possible.

04:50
The 1st initiating party, being wrong in some of their facts.

04:56
And so, um, in the end, yeah, they raised alarm bells that did not need to be raised.

05:06
We were correct.

05:07
We actually had a very strong side of everything.

05:11
We didn't have any choices that we had to make.

05:13
We have as much time as we want, where we're at, and We feel very thankful for that.

05:21
But I find it interesting when we are all of a sudden, you know, we have this problem sitting in our laps and we're like, how do we deal with this? Sometimes, you know, I take a day or a week to just try to sort it out.

05:40
This kind of thing.

05:42
I mean, it wasn't like we had to solve it within the day or the week, but it was something that, you know, if it's housing, hop on that real quick, right?

05:53
But there's some things that I feel in my body that need to sit and percolate for just a bit because I feel like more additional information's going to come out.

06:06
Or I'll learn a little bit more, or I need access to a little bit more, or I need to talk to a certain person, or I need to find some info on a website.

06:17
It's just something that makes it all come together a little better.

06:24
Um, I don't know if it's like assembling tools, but it's kind of assembling information and research, and finding that it does end up in our favor if I were to pause.

06:38
But then there's other times where it's kind of an emergency situation, and you sit there and my biggest takeaway was like, don't think that they're right.

06:49
Initially.

06:51
Don't think that they know more than you because, you know, I read over the paper, like, a ton of times, I knew what we were getting into.

07:05
And to have someone say, nope, that's not how it is.

07:09
I'm like, mm, let's think, let's pause, and let's look at this as, This is correct from your side.

07:19
And sometimes I'm not right.

07:22
I will fully admit, so many times I'm not right.

07:25
I guess I'm used to saying, I got that wrong and I think that's the ingrained part that I'm trying to move past.

07:33
Um, because of my memory, not keeping as much.

07:39
I remember as a kid, I could keep so many things in my brain and I think I was overcompensating at the time, masking my ADHD in autism.

07:50
And I didn't know at the time, my psychologist dad didn't know at the time, or at least he didn't tell me at the time.

07:57
And, you know, we know when we know, I don't blame anybody or anything.

08:05
Things are how they are sometimes.

08:08
And the person who initiated everything, did apologize.

08:13
Like, they said, uh, sorry we got off on the wrong foot.

08:18
And that's exactly what it was.

08:19
It was like, you know what?

08:21
It's all okay.

08:23
They misread something or they didn't, they technically didn't look deep enough.

08:27
They had it just flagged as we were one of the accounts that they needed to follow up on.

08:33
And they just assumed wrong.

08:35
And we just had a mild panic attack.

08:38
I've had panic attacks, so I understand I'm not taking that lightly, but we, we had a mild panic attack and then we calmed down.

08:45
And our partner who helped us with all of this.

08:50
Was saying, yay, yay, it all worked out.

08:53
Now you can relax and that's that's it.

08:55
So, And at the end, you just have to laugh and move on from some of these things.

09:03
There's very much serious things that happen in your life too, and we're dealing with a lot of that as well.

09:10
And sometimes you have to count a win as a win and laugh at how it all came about.

09:19
And that's part of my sanctuary work is having that space to be able to slow down.

09:27
Think things through, have things organized in a way that I could at least get to the information quickly and easily respond.

09:39
And I could have been out traveling for the day, I could have been doing a bunch of things that, you know, I couldn't pause and take that moment.

09:49
So, and that would have been okay too, right?

09:52
So I could have come back and answered it the next day.

09:54
But it is nice that it felt resolved within an hour instead of within the week and having us worry.

10:03
So it really does help to try to solve things quickly for your own mental health.

10:13
Um, your own physical health because you'll feel it within your body.

10:18
But that's part of having your sanctuary is having that space, to look around and feel very supported by your space and knowing that you'll figure it out, and you can move forward.

10:35
And sometimes we do have to do very hard things after that.

10:40
So again, not minimizing that, but sometimes, You can quickly move through things and get to the other side.

10:48
So however you're Creating Your Sanctuary right now.

10:52
It's enough.

10:53
I'll see you next time.